I had a rough time sleeping last night. God is tugging at my heart. His voice can be so comforting, yet so piercing. The closer I get to God, the more I become aware of humanity and their pain. I allow this to scare me away, sometimes for weeks at a time...but God knows where I am. I love the group Casting Crowns because their songs share the story of my heart.
Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
People aren't confused by the gospel, they're confused by us. Jesus is the only way to God, but we are not the only way to Jesus. This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie, my denomination, or my translation of the Bible, they just need Jesus. We can be passionate about what we believe, but we can't strap ourselves to the gospel, because we're slowing it down. Jesus is going to save the world, but maybe the best thing we can do is just get out of the way. Casting Crowns
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That song is an excellent and vivid despcription of my own state of heart. As is your preceding paragraph.
In the end it just shows how very many of us there are in the same boat, I guess.